by Ashley West-Albin

We hear ugly statistics all the time about disease and poverty, but we hardly ever hear about programs that increase the quality of our lives and yield positive results.

            When you enter into marriage, you are taking a big step with someone who is a virtual stranger, unless you have been with them for at least ten years. It is best to know what you are getting yourself into. You don’t want to split up a year into the marriage because you like crunchy peanut butter and your spouse likes creamy… and you just can’t come to an agreement on this issue! So, I asked Ann Gries Ph.D., the Executive Director of Community Marriage Builders, about marriage training classes and the positive impact they have on couples.

Classes where couples learn communication techniques;  a premarital inventory that is individual and you also work with a mentor couple can be quite an asset to newlyweds.
Photo copyright Daniel Knight Studio B.

What are the benefits of premarital counseling and classes?

You learn your differences and similarities and talk about subjects that you either might be avoiding or could become potential conflicts. It helps you to become closer.

What are the kinds of things you talk about?

We look into several different areas: from finances and in-laws, to communication and family of origin just to name a few.

What are the biggest stresses in a newlywed’s life?

The first year is the hardest because of adjustments and learning to compromise. Also, finances.

If you have children, should they attend?

They do need to be included even if the dynamics worked before. Normal behaviors might change after the wedding.

Do you recommend individual or group sessions?

We have classes where couples learn communication techniques; a premarital inventory that is individual and you also work with a mentor couple.

What is the difference between religious and secular counseling?

Secular is not spiritual, you should treat the mind, body and soul and be able to bond on that level with your spouse.

What should you look for in a counselor?

Find one that is pro-marriage, that is honest with you and that has positive results. We have a list of recommended counselors at our office.

Visit www.makeitlast.org or call toll free at 1.800.443.8594 for more information on Community Marriage Builders.